"My name is Maria Antonoinetta Fontana, but everyone call me Toni." "I'm Spike, sometimes known as 'stop thief' or 'hey you.'" "Yeser, I know." The sixth volume of Spike Milligan's off-the-wall account of his part in World War Two sees our hero doing very little soldiering. Because it's 1946.
Rather, he is now part of the Bill Hall Trio - a 'Combined Services Entertainment' inflicted on unsuspecting soldiers across Italy and Austria - and is largely preoccupied with the unbearably beautiful ballerina, Ms Toni Fontana ("Arghhhhhhhhh!").
But he must enjoy it while he can before he is demobbed and sent home to Catford - so he does....